Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Planes, trains and...err motorbikes

Motorbikes are currently my nemesis. I think I'm quite a placid person but suddenly I have developed an irrational anger towards motorbikes, glass recycling, dogs barking, lorries, sirens, doors slamming - you get the picture. 'Do you know how long it's taken to get my baby to sleep?' I want to scream absurdly.

In fact, everything becomes a threat to your child: dogs, cat, spiders (I have rolled up a towel and used it in a draft extractor manner to stop it coming in, too scared to catch the little blighter). Even buses; in a macabre way I'm imagining throwing myself into the road kamikaze-style to stop anything potentially harming my son. I do realise how extreme, nonsensical and borderline insane this all sounds (remember, I am very tired).     

But as a relative quite rightly pointed out (she was in a park when some children started screaming and her baby was asleep in the pram): you need to realise the whole world actually doesn't revolve around your baby, and she's right of course.

Still, if you're out and pass a pram and you need to make a sudden loud noise for whatever reason, or rev your motorbike, please just think - there is a little tired person in there who needs to nap and an even more tired person pushing them. 

1 comment:

  1. Brilliant! I said I'd read your blog during the night feed tonight and luckily enough I've not been to sleep as I have a poorly monkey, so I have finally got the 10 spare minutes needed. I think the only thing you have left out is other people's little darlings that run up and down the aisles of supermarkets screaming. They may only be 2 or 3 but I want to tie them to a Catherine Wheel and watch them whizz off into space. They don't understand that I've got a 10 minute window to shop and get back in the car and I need to do it in complete silence before he starts screaming and the shop assistants start looking at you as if to say poor baby, you shouldn't take him shopping if he doesn't like it. I want to scream 'what?? I've got to bloody eat!!' before I sink to the floor and weep hysterically. Oh and I regularly ask my husband not to clean his teeth before bed because the trapped air bubble that lives in the cold water tap might vibrate the pipes and trigger an ad hoc feed and a mummy melt down :-) x